Consistency is a word that in theory I'm not known for, I have an up and down approach to just about everything I do, which is why some jobs I don't keep or can't do. Accounts is a structured profession, one which one part of me needs and loves, and the other detests and reacts badly.

Consistency is not something I was brought up with either, it was either all or nothing, shouting or no shouting...I suppose in it's own way is a level playing field.

Lately I am getting more and more opportunities coming my way, but I am worried my own inconsistant nature will spoil good chances, just as they have in the past. I have knuckled down, but if I pressure myself too much I implode in a bad way.

One side of me needs accountancy and the other needs to write, a balance with less pressure is needed....I just don't know where that balance is.

I'm a very emotional being, little things upset me, I need reassurance from people I love, if I don't get that I walk away from them. For me it's you either love/like me or you don't...it's a bit like marmite I suppose.

Being emotional is not a bad thing, but sometimes when you think I think one way I'm really hiding what I feel. There is an absolute in all things emotional....you always feel something be it good or be it bad.

I once heard someone I used to love say they had no favourites, yet they were too blind to see that yes they had. I'd travel from here to the ends of the earth for my daughter, I've only had that from 2 other people, both male and my best friends.....Says a lot really.

I am happy in my way, I will be happier when we finally move away from England