I don't want to go into a rant, like I usually do, instead I'm just going to say what I feel right now.

It's been an alright day, I've shopped, had a nice meal with the fella and daughter and nothing untoward has happened. Thing is, for weeks I get the constant nagging in my head and the absolute fear that most people don't get me. I can act normal, or push down my moods and fake being competant, but when I'm home I have to stop pushing those feelings down. This is tiring, and sometimes you can't fight yourself, and yourself takes over. You think you have super human senses, like right now I keep thinking I can see the air aerate around me. I have moments that I feel I am not here, so i'm invicible.....I know thinking rationally this isn't normal, but it takes over.

I feel so alone, I am trying to find another me, and I won't as Im unique, as we all are. But someone that likes to chill to music, likes the unknown, poetry, jim morrison, and a few other things. I have a morbid sense of curiosity...this has to be hidden from everyone but my other half....People really don't understand different, I wish I was like the Andy Kaufmans, Jim Morrisons, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain....THese people didn't hide it from no one....I hide mine.

I could say so much on blogs, but somethings people don't need to know,  I am who I am.

I still find the world a shitty place, it's corrupt and selfish, people don't see the talent until people are dead.....People are blind to everything but themselves. Maybe the world should go on one big acid trip.....