I often wonder if I am reincarnated...not because I'm a fruitloop, but because I adore the 60's, the music, the fashion and the drugs...To freely get so fucked up...i'd have been dead young, but wow. Joking aside, I adore music, it gets me through happy days and sad days, there's a song for every occasion. I particulary like The Doors, because they didn't conform, they played how they wanted to play and Jim sung whatever he wanted to sing....Today no one even touches the sound of the 60's.

Jimi Hendrix is another firm favourite, it does worry me that I seem to steer towards tragic stars, even in todays music market, I like the more messed up artists, like Amy Winehouse....I know why, it's because these people lived and live their worries and problems, none of this manufactured crap or rich boys making a quick single. Part of me doesn't like the world of today, and i drift away back into the woodstock years and think about how it would have felt and sounded.

I'm a dreamer, it's me, it's how I survive in the world I was dragged into, it's how I cope from wanting to stop the violent mood swings. I don't know if i will always have such great coping methods, I don't know if one day I will end it all or walk away from me....But what I do know is that today I know I can fight another day.

I am scared, it might be why I get angry at things, I'm scared that the bi polar will beat me and take over, the last time it happened, I was a super hero and invincible.....it feels so real at the time. Moods are tiring for anyone, but changing from one person to the next in one day, it makes you mentally exhausted....Maybe just maybe I'll wake up and I won't be so fucked up anymore. Or maybe I'll just wake up and see the sun for what it is.