Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

This is a quote i stumbled upon today while reading, for many of us it applies to a few people in our lives, for me more so. I thought I wanted one thing, but you can't miss what you never had....so I wanted something I could never have or achieve. That said, it is getting easier to let things go, and to be happy. I'm not the only one with shitty family, and i sure as hell won't be the last. I guess I have conducted myself in a not so graceful manner, and yes I have had outbursts....all from my point of view, but I never forced my view on anyone, nor have I bullshitted to get people onside....that in itself is my victory :)

I actually thought my daughter was missing out, she makes a lot of choices herself, and to find out she is secure in herself to not care, kind of makes me realise it has always been me that was insecure, and not for her, but for me.

I think when I move house I will make a break and a fresh start, letting it all become a distant memory, you don't need stress, or people that backstab you at the drop of a hat.

This is me just letting it all out, it is easier, and I smile when I hear things...and it's not even my fault....yet somehow I feel it will always be partly me to blame. They are closer apparently, but I do not kid myself in ever thinking I won't miss them sometimes.....I only see one person kidding themselves, and in the end it will be me who gets somewhere in life.

You can't miss what you never had....... and Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.....this is all I ever need from family :)