I'm having one of those nights...major headache and high. It's not a nice high, it's one where I am irritated by everything and my ideas are so ridiculas I think they border on insane. I have these thoughts going through my head, and I am so thankful the car is with the otherhalf....

No amount of talking can make me understand why the hell does every little thing go magnified when you get this way? If you told me i was an idiot right now, I'd fly off the handle and scream blue murder like you've cut me deep....I hate this, I hate having this illness and I hate me.

No wonder my family don't love me, whats to like about me. Miserable, moody and not nice to even be around...

They say it may take around 4 years to contol this fully, i also learn something new everyday about it.....The one thing that will never change is this.....I would rather have a life threatening illness that carries a 50/50 chance of survival, than this shit.

Rapid cycling is what i have, I've suffered with it for many many years, its fucking tiring, the meds sometimes take the edge off it....but even i have a breaking point.

Makes me understand why they don;t love me