I don't blog much these days, as this place isn't somewhere I can be "me" anymore, I often feel in life like something isn't right. For years I've been something full of anger, since I let a lot of anger go, life has gone so better...I'm calmer, quieter, rarely swear and I'm that one friend/sister that everyone calls up for advice or help. I've gone back to being "Carla"

There is a downside, I'm still battling my Bipolar, i'm now 2 days with only 5 hours sleep...What makes this worse is that i know for a few days of no sleep, I will crash and burn so hard, I can't bare it. I don't tell anyone this, because how do I tell people who need me, that I can't cope and that I feel like I am drowning. It does pass, but how many more years can i suffer from this and not get control....I need control.

I have finally got my Uni letter, so that is good news, my best friend in my teens is back in my life, and I feel nearly complete....

Other stuff is going on, and the crazy me, would just come out and say what she thinks, but me...the me that is normal...well she stays quiet and talks when needed.

I think some people in my life that maybe read this, you need to look at why you act like you do, and why everyone is deserting you.....Because bottom line is, we can all blame someone for how things are, but only YOU can change your own attitude.If more than 2 people think something, you can only deny it to yourself for so long.

I am changing my outlook and attitude, and it's made me a better person.