I prefer the short version, as i like to keep readers guessing and make their own minds up, i'm no expert, but do give subtle hints as to whats what
The rain was falling down hard, the bus stop was cramped...looking at my watch I realised I would be late, "Damn!" I thought, as I clutched the black leather briefcase to my chest...remembering lightly running my fingers over the contents, feeling the smoothness, the contours and watching it glisten in the new daylight...That was the perk to my new found life and job. My car had broken down again, I had one chance today and I couldn't wait another month.
Finally the number 48 is here, we all jostled to get on, the rowdy schoolkids were on again, I find a seat and tap my briefcase, smirking to myself, and contemplating using the contents on the little shits. The world around me is busy and loud, yet I feel a sense of calmness, like a sunset on the beach..this always happens when I'm focused on the task ahead. A timid girl comes and sits next to me, she smiles and it's the smile I've seen before, the one where you keep your head down, don't make eye contact, in hopes no one notices you...but the problem is certain people do...those are the ones my job deals with.
The bell rings and the girl gets up, instinctively knowing I have to get passed. The rain is beating down hard, as I step off, I look and see I'm back in the place I've been before. My job mostly entails nightwork, but this job was a special case, it couldn't be done any other time. I walk up to the familiar pathway, and walk around to the backdoor, I feel under the plantpot, ahh i think to myself, there as always. I quietly unlock the door, my breathing heavier, although still controlled. I remember where all the creaks where, but there's no sound he will hear. I smell the scent I've breathed in a thousand times before, before when I was naive...when everything he said I believed. I remember the times he'd buy my favourite chocolate, and I would sit wide eyed as he doted on me the most. Then things changed, I changed too...no longer naive to him.
No one listened or heard what I had to say, so instead i opted for a new life, I wasn't missed, and even now when I attempt a visit to my family, I know I am no longer that same lost naive girl. I shake myself, and focus once again, this time it was personal, this was MY time to get the job done, for me, myself and I.
I climbed the stairs, remembering the way he would pick me up and throw me over his shoulder, tickling my feet. I open the briefcase as I slowly make my way to that old familiar place.....My best friend is there, she glints and winks at me, and I smile, we are a team me and her, she knows what to do, and so do I. I place her into my left hand, and place the briefcase at the top of the stairs...I run right hand over my best friend and take a small breath.
The silencer is on there, my alibi is set, my revenge for taking my childhood is near and the only sound he'll hear again...
Is the psst of my gun.
I have a man who shows me how to love myself, warts and all. But I am still confused over my ex, so I push that aside for now until I am ready to deal with it properly. I researched into my mindset by starting this blog, i also researched different methods of coping with a chemical inbalance without the use of tablets. I've been away from junk food, take aways and stressful people for 4 weeks, and this is the happiest i've been in 7 years. The crap they put in foods is a factor. 
