Epiphany Of The Jaded Reprobate

WooHoo My daughter is home, she's sat here with her head in my lap playing the simpsons on the wii....I feel content again, she is happier, and I'm making a nice tea(dinner)I keep stroking her hair, and thinking how can someone so beautiful come from me, she's got a cute little nose, and lovely blue eyes. I missed her immensely, and I decided she's not going with sperm donor all weekend often, she came back quite subdued, but a hug from me and she's getting back to her normal self. I love been a mum, I like knowing i love her uncondtionally no matter what. Gosh a nice Berry...Yep Shanna brings that out of me

I'm off out next weekend, i'm excited about it....

I had a great morning, woken up by my phone beeping with texts coming through. I wrote a short story last night, which is pretty cool. Needs tweaking.

I can't be arsed to blog, as I give you all of me everyday, well I'm not in the mood today to do that. I want to keep my thoughts to myself...although I am pondering a few issues...here's my list

*1 Why do people only want to know you when they benefit or gain something, not all just most?
*2 Why do I always be straight with people, but they aren't with me?
*3 Why can't I use a microwave?
*4 Why are australian men some of the sexiest to walk this planet?
*5 How do I be what everyone thinks I should be?
*6 How come I'm not accepted as I am?
*7 Why is GTA4 so addictive?

I'm tired of been headfucked by people, so I'm taking a break from this blogging my feelings shite...because I feel like I give a piece of me I can't get back, and in my personal life I given few people a piece of me...yet they take that and I can't get it back...so I need to take some time away from everything. The fact is...I'm confused about everything in life, I'm up and down, I'm kind of high again, when in theory I shouldn't be...which is odd...I am confused about most things except what I want, my daughter and who i like. Although I'm doing ok on 2 out of 3, not bad for a screw up like me

It's 7.45 am, and I wanted to say to you good night, I know you read this, and I'm glad you do. I'm happy you're in my life, I'm happy you show me who I am. I'm glad to be your friend, I hate it when we fight, we are too alike in many ways...but in others complete opposites...I'm too emotional and I know I am, I don't like you not been in my life....I like how you guide me the right way, even if I dig my heels in.

So to you Raphael...thank you...You inspired me a few times during my blogs...mostly when i'm pissed off, but today you get this one...just for you

"Wrong When You're Gone" Jennifer Lopez

Guess I Should Have Shut My Mouth
But I Had To Get It Out
So Much For Being Headstrong
Now Im, Going Halfway Out My Mind
I Know I Was Outta Line
No Scratch That, I Was Dead Wrong

Know I Shoulda Let It Go
But I Just Had To Be Right
Coulda Left It Alone
But No, I Had To Be Right
Swear I Woulda Just Fell Back
If I Knew All I'd Be Left With Is These
Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas Cuz You're Gone

Now Im Here Trippin
Cuz You Came Up Missin
And My Head Keeps Spinnin
It's Gettin Outta Control
I'm Backin Down This Time
I Don't Wanna Fight
I Don't Care Who's Right

Cuz I'm Wrong When You're Gone
When You're Gone
[x3]

Heaven knows if you were here
I'd be all up in your ear
Least you could do is answer your phone
Cause I realize my mistake
Baby I'll do what it takes
if I could just get you one on one

Know I Shoulda Let It Go
But I Just Had To Be Right
Coulda Left It Alone

But No, I Had To Be Right
Swear I Woulda Just Fell Back
If I Knew All I'd Be Left With Is These
Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas Cuz You're Gone

Now Im Here Trippin
Cuz You Came Up Missin
And My Head Keeps Spinnin
It's Gettin Outta Control
I'm Backin Down This Time
I Don't Wanna Fight
I Don't Care Who's Right

Cuz I'm Wrong When You're Gone
When You're Gone
[x3]

I Know I Pushed You Out
Runnin Off At The Mouth
Sayin All The Wrong Things
Callin You Out Your Name
I Was Unpredictable
I Was So Emotional
I Swear I'm Gonna Do Better
Can We Get This Back Together Again

[Pre-Chorus:]
Now Im Here Trippin
Cuz You Came Up Missin
And My Head Keeps Spinnin
It's Gettin Outta Control
I'm Backin Down This Time
I Don't Wanna Fight
I Don't Care Who's Right

Cuz I'm Wrong When You're Gone
When You're Gone
[x3]

Cuz I'm Wrong When You're Gone
When You're Gone

Cuz I'm Wrong When You're Gone
When You're Gone
[x3]

Why do people lie? And I don;t mean little white lies, but big ones? Its made me feel like shit tonight. Why am i naive? why do I bother? ~shrugs~