I was in the city centre today, and I saw someone I have not seen since I was 16. He used to work for rock steady, as security...last time I saw him he was a hulk of a man. Today he's more toned and not as big, but still someone you wouldn't fuck around with, he knew my friends I grew up with, and my first long term boyfriend Simon. He would often get us into clubs and parties for free, a lot of the time guest list entry only. One weekend I was supposed to be working, but stayed at my friend Sam's house...we decided to see what everyone was up to, and to see if Mikey was working for anyone famous. Simon called him up and he got us into a party in manchester. Sam's dad dropped us all off, and I told my mum I was staying at her house for the night....I often did stay at sam's, but i never told my mum where we were off to.
At this party a lot of americans were there, no one I knew, but apparently famous...~shrugs shoulders~ Unbeknown to me I met Faith Evans, I thought she was nice and she introduced me to her man, he was a huge dude, and I asked him about his chains, he bellowed out laughing. He had a lot of big guys around him, but i knew he was someone special. I asked him his name and he said Christopher, and i told him i was Carla. After a few drinks, bearing in mind i was only just 16, I went onto water, and he asked me why. So i explained I look older than I am, and would rather have my wits about me in a strange place. My boyfriend at the time Simon was at the bar as usual. I listened to these people chat all night. I never realised what rap royalty I had the priviledge to sit with, because no other white person was sat there. I never batted an eyelid actually, as I have been brought up with all walks of life. Faith kept on making me feel very welcome, so I asked her why did she approach me, and her answer was this "You looked so radiant and sweet, that I wanted to say hello."
See looking back I think wow, she wanted to talk to me!!! If only I knew about american music more back then. The Chris guy and I got talking about weight issues, something that for some reason made the others uncomfy, and I am rather blunt, and me at the time was chubby, so he smiled and said no one had ever dared ask him about his weight....so i said is this where I get my arse kicked? He laughed so loud that I almost shit myself. He told me about his isssues and it became apparent he was just like me....lonely. The people around him were bullshitters, hangers on...they said what he wanted to hear, but thing is....he needed the truth. He had a lot of charisma, and when his massive mobile rung, he told this small guy to tell the people he's busy....something that shocked most of his crew. I got up to use the toilet, and the whole place stood up...Faith smiled and said I had gained the respect of everyone...at 16 this was all new to me...and i was like...bugger I hope they don't want to watch me piss.
I came back and had a big glass of orange juice and raspberries waiting...he had picked up on the fact I had added raspberries to my drink...that was cool. Faith and I chatted about her kids, and how she was hoping to make more music. Simon had someone fetch me, and Sam had been having fun elsewhere, so it was time for me to go. Chris said something to me and I never listened to his advice until today when I saw Mikey again... Chris said " Stay far from timid,Only make moves when your heart's in it, and live the phrase the Sky's The Limit" He then turned to a guy and said write that down, i'll use that for a hook. He then said to me, you have a beautiful soul, your eyes are that soul, don't let anyone bring you down Carla, because you were made for great things, you just have to believe in you.
His words have been ingrained on my mind for a long long time, I only now truly understand what he was telling me, and life is too short to be fucking it up. So from now on I will grab what I have with both hands and try not to let my disorders win.
I never saw these people again, they made an impression on my life, but I never appreciated what until recently. I have met lots of people, but none like Chris. He was shot 11 months later.
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