Zak is amazing, his voice haunts me, but he speaks the truth.
Black Label Society
Just Killing Time
I sit reflecting
I feel the end has begun
It seems my days now mirror the setting sun
So many places that I have been
This ride that was long seems so short in terms of now and then
For All that has been
And All that is
All that's to be
Lord, I'm just killing time
And time's killing me
Dead man breathing, just taking up space
Calloused and weathered like the lines on one's face
Dead man breathing, my conscience is bare
The lining of my soul is torn yet I no longer care
For All that has been
And All that is
All that's to be
Lord, I'm just killing time
And time's killing me
Do you see me, sitting here?
I'm waiting for you to say anything
Head hung low, kicking stones down
Kicking stones down the road to hell now
I'm waiting for you to say anything, anything yeah
I know you are the only one, my little taste of heaven
And you know I am the only one, your bitter taste of hell
Your eyes scream the end is creeping end
I'll need thirty-seven stitches, to keep the pain in
I know you are the only one, on the darkest side of the sun
Ooh yeah
Followed the piper's sweet whistling
Guided down the path by the wrong hand
Close my eyes for the chance of a better view
Plug my ears so I couldn't hear you
And I know you are the one
And you know I am the one
Your bitter taste of hell
I know you are the only one, a little taste of heaven
And you know I am the only one, your bitter taste of hell
Your eyes scream the end is creeping end
I'll need thirty-seven stitches, to keep the pain in
I know you are the only one, on the darkest side of the sun
Do you see me sitting here?
Still waiting for you to say anything
Head hung low kicking stones down
Kicking stones down the road to hell now
I'm waiting for you, i'm waiting for you, just say anything yeah
I know you are the only one, a little taste of heaven
And you know I am the only one, your bitter taste of hell
Your eyes scream the end is creeping end
I'll need thirty-seven stitches, thirty-seven stitches, yeah
I know you are the only one, on the darkest side of the sun
I know, I know (the darkest side of the sun)
You are the one. . . on the darkest side of the sun
Ok after a day of thinking, I came to the conclusion, that I didn't see things too clearly yesterday. I;m not seeing them too clearly now, but that's not a big issue. My issue is this...What I have written here about, my ex knows I write this...he doesn't know the addy as luckily he's rather dimwitted with computers. But he once read it a few times, and I figured he still did.
So I got this to worry about, I got the bail papers this morning, and then got a solicitor about it all. He's called my mum about some tickets he got for me as a suprise...I have refused them. I'm overly confused at how i'm meant to feel...I spent 11 years with someone who barely knew me...he never fully got me...he just wanted me to be the way he thought i should be. Yet I miss part of him...it's a small part I miss...I feel utterly lonely inside and outside, I am relieved he's gone, I'm just not used to the new found freedom. How do i embrace that? How do I stop existing and actually living?
I don't know how to let pain go, I don;t know how to stop turning my pain on myself....I am resisting the urges to self medicate constantly. My daughter is what stops me giving up...I feel like i'm staring down the barrel of a 45, and just stuck as to what path to go on.
On a lighter note I played footy today, my weight loss is making me fitter.
someone brought this to my attention, i feel this way sometimes
Shinedown 45
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
[CHORUS]
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
