First off I slept nearly 5 hours again..this is odd for the 2nd time, and its only been a recent occurance....somethings clicked into place this week, and I can't fathom if it's a good thing or not.

I find I am a strong person, but I know I have to have someone more stronger than me, a bit protective...now finding a balance is harder than you think, yet you meet someone and you think they have what you think you need. Is it real or are you just seeing what you want to see? I overthink everything, and I have to have someone that understands how complex i am. You have to reel me in, show me that it's ok to think that stuff, as long as you talk it through. People say yeah everyones complex etc, but I'm not your normal average person, arrogant that sounds right? To me no, I just know I am a deep thinker, and to most people that's either a challenge or i'm too emotional.

Now after reading that you probably think i'm on some depression trip...infact quite the opposite, you can meet someone and they are like you in lots of ways, yet you can be opposites in others. If they have trust issues same as you, can it ever work? it goes either way i suppose, you either become solid, or you both build a wall. I build walls, yet he breaks through them...this worries me, because he does something no one else does. Can I fully trust him? I don't know.

I'm in a good mood today, it's sunny again, I'm broke as fuck, I have £3 to last me til next week.... I should set up a Save Berry fund...

I'm singing lots today...my daughter raised an eyebrow at 8 15 and said mum...you been happy is really sick....I looked at her and said...shit fill me in if that's good or bad...she said it's good... so i checked with my sister, who confirmed it's all good.

Sometimes I now wonder what I would do without you in my life...I can't walk away.

And thanks to "you" I'm blushing and it's all over me!