After 47 text messages, which has now filled my memory up, at the last count 33 phone calls, the dickhead is still harrassing me, the police are going to deal with it....well do it faster. My throat hurts, but no marks.
Is anyone out there just nice, normal and knows how to treat a woman, because to be honest I ain't finding you. I'm blunt on my blog, and sometimes a little too raw and real. But this is me, I give up more secrets here than anything, should i stop doing that, I don't know. Yet here I feel safe, knowing my thoughts or feelings maybe connecting with how someone else feels.
For once right, I want to be protected, I want to give someone me, and feel I get the same in return, instead I have always had a nice fist, or told I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not, but I still exist inspite of those people.
I am here scared shitless, this place I'm at, isn't my home, he got in this morning while we slept, the one hour he stopped calling, he had put his hand through the letter box and got my keys. He told my daughter this morning I am a bad mum who has lied to her, he called me a slag in front of her....now bearing in mind I haven't been with anyone else in 11 years...shame I couldn't say the same about him. I called the police through a new number they gave me, just to alert them without needing to talk, he left before they got here.
I haven't got support, if I call my mum she will listen, but she can;t be here...I would never ask her to be either. He has a big family, all calling me stuff, and to be frank with you, I don't know how much I can take before I walk away from this part of my life....I've upped sticks before and left my entire house, stuff everything. Only this time Shannas not a baby, she sees whats going on.
I'm sorry I am real, I'm sorry that I may have worried people last night, as always guys I get through, I'm tough enough to take a few hits. But I can only blog about whats real in my life, and I won't sugar coat things...this is my life, it sucks, but fuck I have to breathe somehow.