Well knobhead has just come to get my little angel...I feel even more depressed than I did 1 hour ago. I should eat, I don't even have £2 to my name, and I am running out of bread and milk. Not working is taking it's toll, I am getting no child support, and up to now I delude myself that it will "get better". Bolllocks, I've used this phrase for 13 years, and you know what...it hasn't got better. It's gradually got worse, and I've hit rock bottom numerous times.
My ex threatened me today which was interesting, getting used to that nowadays, then he's all nice when it's pick up daughter time, she wanted to go, it broke my heart, but I could do nothing but agree..I sometimes hate been timid. I wish I was in a high week, where I will stand my ground, but the real me is a shadow of that. I feel unprotected, when really like any woman I want to BE protected...not much to ask is it.
In person at the moment I am really quiet, shy and distant...my friend told me I seem really vacant...nice. I don't really care much for blogging, but I have to see how extreme my moods are. I don't really care much for anything, I have even stopped listening to music all day, I mostly just potter about...doing cleaning, chores or just basic crap i have to do. I don't think my meds are working at all.
Today I found my house phone in the fridge again...I have a big american style frdge/freezer and it's way bigger than me, I have to go on my tiptoes for the top shelf. So I must have placed it there after a convo with my mum....I don't remember doing so though.
