The blog name is because I like the word vortex and reminds me of B (weaponsgrade)then kestrel made me smile by using spores...and been mardy is my favourite yorkshire phrase, and it reminds me of northernangel (she is a rare one who knows what it means).
I still feel like utter poop, but I'm in a good mood..why you may ask, i'm just lucky thats all. Not lucky when it comes to money, lifestyle, looks or most stuff...but because I have been told I have beautiful eyes and some other stuff, that I won't get into. Because I think my mum reads this.... 
mum
Most people have the fake niceness, that pisses me off, and I do know who those people are, some have the genuine niceness, that I tend to gravitate to...although I still keep a certain distance. I can't pick and choose certain things from life, and half the time I won't just settle for second best, so instead I will go without. This can be a lonely way to be, but I like it.
I have the most beautiful daughter in the world, she has this amazing personality, that is clever, and is a smart arse...reminds me of myself some days. She's been through a lot of shit, and tends to shy away from stuff, and I hate seeing that happen, so maybe I think I have caused that, but I prefer she is wary of people. Sounds bad, but been too trusting as I have been growing up, leads you to have a really fucked up outlook on just about everyone that crosses your path. I can never tell her how proud I am, because I don't know how to...I show it in other ways, I would never like to pressure her to be something she is not, although she is capable and bright enough to go to Uni. Someone actually asked me why I never mention my daughter much...because in all honesty, when I'm pissed off, she is never one to piss me off, she makes me smile instead. I can never ever tell her enough how much I love her because my heart wants to burst when I feel it. When she was born, all night i had her with me in bed and I stared at her for 5 hours....I was amazed some stupid fuck like me could have such a beautiful little being. And for me I will always put her first.
wow i got mega serious there...see even people like me aren't always bitter.
There is now a special person coming into my life, and who knows where it will lead...I'm happy and it's just nice. I am blessed with the friends I have around me too...not many, just a couple. There's other people I keep at arms length, and then there's you...who for some reason likes reading my random crap. Have I disappointed you today, maybe so but I have up and down moods, and today is just a nice mood.
Berry fact...I'm considering cutting off a friend because she says she is in love with me
*Edited at 7 pm* I'm turning into a wuss...seriously...what is it with me and fucking love songs today...quick someone send me some metal tunes to download..
And I'm listening to The Delfonics...Hey Love...I'm turning GIRLYYYYYYYYYYY
